


Punch Buggie

by Cheylouwho



Category: South Park
Genre: (mention of vomit), CHAPTER 2 SIX MONTHS LATER FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF SMUT, Emetophobia, First Time, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Oneshot, Road Trips, Self Confidence Issues, Sexuality Crisis, Teenage Drama, clyde insecure about his body, crying all over the place, i wrote this in 3 hours bc i can, jimmy deserves more fics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2018-12-20 09:49:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11918334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheylouwho/pseuds/Cheylouwho
Summary: Clyde can’t remember why he decided to go on this trip, let alone why his friends would even invite him.Road trips fucking suck.Edit: now with chapter 2 smut you're welcome





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> THERE IS NOT ENOUGH JIMMY AND CLYDE CONTENT *straps self in* GOTTA MAKE MY OWN SHIT

It all started with Token’s old mustang and some fancy grandparents.

They were all 17 and 18 years old, in their last year of high school. As cliché as Craig had claimed it to be, Jimmy had suggested they all go on one last trip together before the year ended. Token had some grandparents with a cabin on a lake up north they could use for the weekend, and everyone happened to be around. It seemed like a great idea, in theory, for all five of them to sit for 8 hours in a car with each other on a Friday night.

Now the passing light of the overhead streetlamps were painting stripes across Clyde’s face, his cheek pressed firmly against the window. The rumbling of the moving car felt like it was shaking his entire brain, but it was a better sensation than having to listen to Craig reciting ‘Ice Ice Baby’ in the seat next to him. Something else was playing on the stereo now that Jimmy had hold of the aux cord, but he really didn’t care to tune his brain in enough to know what it was.

Road trips fucking sucked.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go. The lake trip sounded awesome; he’d always been big on swimming. It was more just general discomfort. He was pretty sure he was carsick to some degree, and the overstimulation from his other friend’s wasn’t exactly helping his situation.

With a groan, he lifted his head off the window, fingers coming up to touch at his chilled cheek by habit. Token was sitting in the driver’s, with Jimmy shotgun and Craig and Tweek riding beside him in the back seats. He felt somewhat squished against the left-side door, Craig taking up way more room than he needed. He claimed that Clyde was just too fat, but he knew that wasn’t the case. He was _fine._ Maybe a little on the pudgier side, but _fine._ Craig was just been a space hog because he didn’t want to wake up his boyfriend.

Tweek was asleep on the other side of the car, messy hair smushed into the glass as he curled toward it. He really didn’t need all that room to sleep, but Craig insisted that he rest. There was almost a feeling of jealously for how much he cared for the other boy; every time Clyde watched him reach across to brush away a stray hair or kiss him on the cheek sent a strange feeling through his stomach.

Maybe it was the fact he was one of the only ones in the group who wasn’t dating anyone.

Craig had Tweek, and Token had his girlfriend, and Jimmy… well, Jimmy was just Jimmy. He was always having one-off flings with girls. Clyde’s eyes drifted to him next, watching with intrigue as he messed with his phone in the seat in front of him. He was still just as goofy as when they were in elementary school. He’d grown his hair out a bit, gotten his braces off, and volunteered with the Special Olympics to work with younger kids. He had his perfect smile and his perfect eyes and everything else that made everyone fawn over him. And then there was Clyde- a dumpy jock wannabe with a fuckload of acne and nothing to his name.

Needless to say, he was jealous.

“Punch buggie blue!” Craig shouted suddenly, his fist slamming into Clyde’s arm, pulling him out of his spacey state. Jimmy was blaring the Thomas the Train theme song while Token kept trying to unplug the cord. Craig was laughing hysterically.

“Fucking stop it,” Clyde snapped back, pointing a finger accusingly at him before rubbing at what was inevitably going to become a bruise. “Dipshit.”

“Dumb fuck,” Craig replied, leaning back in his seat.

The audio blasting through the car sharply cut off, followed by Token flipping on the radio. “No more phones, Jimmy ruined it by playing garbage,” he stated, while Jimmy yelled some nonsense about censoring his art.

Clyde met his eyes through the rearview mirror, almost begging him for sweet release. “How much longer ‘till we get there?” he asked.

“About an hour more,” Token told him, glancing at the phone sitting in the cupholder near his seat. The GPS map traced a long path along the highway, with several more miles until their next exit.

“Euuuuuuuuuugh,” Clyde groaned again, the side of his head smacking against the glass again. He stared out the window at the darkening sky, the sun barely visible on the horizon. His eyes focused on the passing cars, making a silent game out of trying to remember their colors. Red, blue, red, grey, black, black, red--

“Punch buggie red,” Craig shouted again, slugging Clyde in the arm for the second time. So much for letting his boyfriend rest; Clyde was sure that it was loud enough to startle him awake, but the blond was still out cold.

“I told you to fucking stop,” he hissed, hitting him (weakly) back. “I don’t wanna play that.”

Jimmy was singing along to whatever was playing on the radio with Token. Clyde wished he was in the driver’s seat. Then Token could get hit in the arm and he could just enjoy himself.  “Do you wanna switch, Token?” he asked.

“Nah, if this car gets wreaked I’m dead, and you’re too shitty of a driver.”

Clyde met his eyes through the rearview again, sticking out his tongue.

“Fucking rude.”

“Don’t care.” Clyde resumed staring out the window, drowning out the music and Craig’s blabber with the gentle hum of movement against his skull. He didn’t know why he was having such a hard time this trip. Usually he was fine, but recently, it just felt awkward hanging out as a group. He didn’t really know if it was the pressure of senior year or…

He paused in thought, almost wanting to shake away the notion that it might be deeper than that. Maybe it was the fact everyone else was doing so much better than he was at _everything._ Maybe it was the discomfort of being alone every time Craig and Tweek did something cutesy. Maybe it was the beautiful eyes staring him down across the car—

He froze, mind completely forgetting how to hear as Jimmy said something to him. “What?” he mumbled, shaking his head. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“I s-s-said, do you need to p-piss,” he repeated, uncomfortably twisting in his chair to look at him. “There’s a r-rest stop in ab…about ten mi…miles.”

“No, I’m fine,” he said quickly, diverting his attention back to the window in embarrassment.

Maybe, just _maybe,_ he wasn’t jealous _of_ Jimmy. He was jealous of the people who got to _be_ with Jimmy.

Sexuality was a tricky thing, especially when he was younger. It wasn’t until Craig and Tweek’s fiasco that Clyde had begun to consider the fact that he wasn’t as straight as he thought. Sure, he liked girls, but there were more options than that. Hot options. People like his childhood best friend.

“Oh my ffffucking god,” he muttered to himself, only smushing more of his face against the glass in frustration. Not only was he gross, he was at least somewhat gay, and the combination just made him feel that much worse. Jimmy had only ever had relationships with _girls._ There was no way in hell he’d even consider Clyde, and if he had that option, why would he? There were plenty of more attractive, better boys at their school.

In short, the whole situation was fucked.

Across the car from him, Tweek was waking from his sleep, asking something about where his coffee thermos went and how much longer they had left. Clyde continued to stay huddled up to the window as Craig handed it to him, a loving smile on his face.

“Sleep well?” Craig asked, pressing more kisses to his cheek.

“Mmh… yeah, I’m…I’m good,” Tweek laughed, returning the favor.

Clyde grimaced. Why were they like this? There were three other people in the car and they just had to be showing off with over-done PDA. It was like they were _trying_ to rub in the fact that Clyde was single.

“Please shut the fuck up,” he found himself saying, arms crossed and lip pouted.

“What’s your deal, bitch boy?” Tweek scoffed playfully.

“He’s just j-jealous,” Jimmy teased, turning around in his seat again. “He’s got nuh…nobody to k-kiss him.”

“NOT TRUE,” Clyde squeaked, only curling further into himself. “Not true at all!”

“Not true that you’re jealous or not true that you’ve got nobody to kiss you?” Token asked, turning down the radio a bit.

The pressure was on.

“Both!” Clyde blurted. “In fact, I have like three girlfriends at home who will all kiss me whenever I want so THERE.” He met eyes with Jimmy again, almost daring him to continue teasing.

“Sure, sure,” Tweek said, rolling his eyes. “And me and Craig are juuuuust friends.”

“It’s true!” Clyde claimed again, sitting upright. He could feel his carsickness churning in his stomach, but he was so flustered he forced himself to ignore it. “I’m really fucking popular at school and everyone wants to kiss me!”

“I’ve never seen you kiss anyone,” Craig pushed, almost amused by his outburst. When a target within the group was locked, everyone would take turns trying to push the limits. “You’re probably a kiss virgin.”

“That doesn’t even exist,” Token commented. “If you’re gonna tease him don’t be stupid about it.”

“Even if it DID, I’m NOT,” Clyde continued, ignoring him. “I kissed Sally Turner two days ago, so there.”

“Sally Turner has a boyfriend, you dumb fuck, you made that up,” Craig continued, pointing a finger.

“No she doesn’t!”

“ _Clydeeeee is a kissssss v-virgin_ ,” Jimmy sang, also ignoring Token.

“You can kiss my _ass_ ,” Clyde shouted back, stomach feeling uncomfortably queasy.

“I w-would, but ass k-kissing doesn’t count to…towards kiss vir…virginity.”

“If ass kissing even counted, the football coach would be alllllll yours,” Craig continued, smirking devilishly.

“Okay, C-Craig, wait, that’s e-enough,” Jimmy said, expression turning concerned. Clyde’s face was twisted with embarrassment.  

“Nobody would want to kiss you anyway.”

“Craig, I s-said to stop.”

“Craig, I’m…” Clyde shrunk back against the window, hands clutching his stomach. Tears were threatening to spill. Why did he have to be such a crybaby, why, why, why—

“Craig, seriously, don’t take it too far,” Tweek was saying, but his boyfriend refused to listen. He raised his fist, slugging Clyde hard in the arm again.

“Punch buggie again, crybaby,” he said.

And Clyde spewed all over the floor of the mustang.

“EW OH MY GOD!” Tweek shrieked, scrambling against the far end of the car in disgust.

“What the hell happened back there?!” Token yelled, torn between watching the road and trying to look behind himself at the scene unfolding. Craig gagged at the sight and smell, squishing against Tweek as he too tried to get away. Clyde just stared at the mess, unable to even comprehend what had just happened.

“Token—T-Token you g-gotta pull into the rest st..sto…stop,” Jimmy said quickly. “Nobody’s gotta p-piss but Clyde just l-let one out all over the ba…back of the car.”

“Oh Jesus Christ,” Token muttered, “why the hell didn’t he do it in the bag I gave him?”

“It’s Craig’s fault! He got him all worked up!” Tweek squeaked.

Clyde just continued to stare in silence, hands shaking.

“Clyde, I’m sorry dude, I didn’t mean to push it that far,” Craig begged, but the tears were already starting to flow from Clyde’s eyes.

“Oh my god you made him cry, what the fuck!” Tweek scolded.

“It smells so bad in here,” Token muttered, “I hope to god we can get it out…”

“Clyde, calm d-down,” Jimmy said, trying to keep the situation from escalating. Token was pulling off the freeway now and into the rest stop. There were no other cars in the parking lot this late in the evening, but it was better than pulling over on the busy road. As soon as the car was in park, the doors were thrown open and everyone quickly exited. Tweek ran to get paper towels while Token chewed Craig out, and Clyde had gone from sitting in the car with vomit on his pants to standing outside the car with vomit on his pants.

Everything had just gone _wrong._

He was just supposed to go on a nice trip with his friends and enjoy himself, but no. He had to get defensive. He had to be awkward. He had to _vomit all over the floor of his friend’s dad’s probably expensive car._ It only made him cry harder, hands pressed to his face. Goddammit, he was a walking disaster. Ugly, fat, stupid, disgusting. The whole package. No wonder all his friends always picked on him. No wonder nobody wanted to kiss him. No wonder Jimmy didn’t want to—

“Hey, let’s g-go get you cleaned up, o…okay?” Jimmy asked, Token having retrieved his crutches from the trunk of the car. He’d come beside Clyde now, a hand on his shoulder. “You don’t have to c-cry anymore. It’s fine.”

Clyde just stared at him stupidly, mouth half open in shock that anyone would pity him right now. He’d just practically ruined their trip. They were in a shitty rest stop parking lot, for fucks sake, how wrong could the night have ended up?

“ _Okay?_ ” Jimmy repeated, his brown eyes almost shimmering in the sunset lighting. “I’ll help.”

“Okay,” Clyde muttered, still completely dazed. Jimmy took him awkwardly by the arm and led him towards the restrooms, walking along the shoddily paved sidewalk and into the less than ideal men’s room. It didn’t smell much better inside than the car, but it would have to do.

“I’m sorry,” Clyde muttered as Jimmy turned to the sink, wetting a paper towel under the faucet.

“It’s f-fine,” Jimmy replied as if nothing had happened. He handed Clyde the paper towel before turning to wet a second one. “Use that one o…on your f-face.”

Clyde nodded, looking at the floor as he cleaned himself up, wiping at his mouth and then his tearstained cheeks. He sniffled pathetically, shoulders bouncing with quiet heaves. He hated how sensitive he was.

Jimmy came back with the second towel, immediately using it to brush off Clyde’s jeans. “W-wait, I’ll do it,” Clyde stuttered, snatching it from him in embarrassment. “I don’t need help.”

“Suit yourself,” Jimmy said, standing upright.

Clyde refused to make eye contact as he continued to clean himself off. There was an awkward silence as the cheap fluorescent lights hummed above them, the creaks of the building only further grating on Clyde’s overstimulation.

“What’s wrong?” Jimmy asked, voice full of concern.

Clyde refused to answer, eyes downcast as he scrubbed furiously at the stains on his pants.

“I s-said, what’s wrong?”

“I heard you that time,” Clyde snapped, dropping the paper towel in his outburst. “Fuck…”

“I’ll g-get another-“

“Don’t!” Clyde shouted, his voice echoing in the empty bathroom. “Stop trying to help me! Stop!”

Jimmy froze, hand almost touching the paper towel dispenser. “What?”

“Stop helping me! Stop being so nice to me!” Clyde’s body shook with anxiety as their eyes met, hands clutching at his shirt. “I’m a piece of shit who ruined the whole trip, I don’t deserve it!”

“That’s n-not-“

“You’re too good to be sitting in a fucking rest stop bathroom wiping vomit off my pants, okay? Okay, Jimmy? You’re this perfect guy with your cute eyes and your adorable smile and your nice voice and…and…and…”

“Clyde, I-I’m-“

“No, you listen to me!” he snapped again, pointing a finger at him. Tears were streaming down his face, but he didn’t care. “You listen to me, okay? I don’t deserve your attention. You’re like, the best person out of our whole group and I don’t understand how you even ended up with a bunch of nobodies like us, especially me!”

“Clyde-“ Jimmy pleaded, trying to interrupt.

“No, no, I know what you’re thinking, but I’m not jealous of you! I’m not! It’s fine that you’re fucking gorgeous and I’m a fucking… I don’t know, a goblin or something, but the point is that all you’re doing is getting my hopes up because every time you look at me I get all fluttery, and not in the vomit way… In like…the…”

Oh.

Ohhhhh. Fuck.

Jimmy just stared in disbelief, unable to say anything.

“S-so I’ll…I’ll just…” Clyde crossed his arms across his chest, letting out a shaking breath as the tears just kept flowing. He probably looked so ugly right now… “I’m just g-gonna…fucking… I’m s-sorry…” He turned quickly towards the exit of the bathroom, eyes squeezing shut as he let out another pathetic sob.

Jimmy’s crutches clicked quickly across the cracked tile floor, putting himself in front of the door. “No,” he said firmly.

Clyde pathetically rammed himself against Jimmy’s chest, too weak from sobbing to do anything else. He just rested his head there for a moment, knees threatening to give out. He was crying on his crush in the middle of a _fucking rest stop bathroom at ten o’clock at night._ What the _fuck_ was he doing?

“Stop, stop,” Jimmy said again, a hand against Clyde’s back. “Come h-here, just stop c-crying, okay?” He led him back to the sink, getting another paper towel and gently wiping away his tears with the rough texture, the other hand gently cradling his face.

“I’m s-sorry,” Clyde muttered, pressing into the hand against his cheek.

Jimmy didn’t say anything, only helping him dry his tears until there were none left. With the paper towel in the garbage and his crying subdued, they were left again in the silence, staring into each other’s eyes.

“Clyde?” Jimmy finally said, thumb absentmindedly tracing gentle patterns against his cheek.

“Yeah?”

“You’re not a n…nobody, okay?” he said calmly.

Clyde resisted the urge to say anything, just silently taking in his words.

“You’re a lot of s-s-somebody. You’re the b-best f…football player on the h-high school te…team. You’re th-the best hugger I’ve ev…ever met. You’re sensitive a…and sweet, and…”

“Fat? Ugly? Stupid?” Clyde asked, almost accusingly.

“No,” Jimmy said firmly, leaning a bit closer. “V-very attractive.”

Clyde swore he flat-lined and went to heaven right then and there. The only thing that came from his mouth was a string of unintelligible syllables, face blushed redder than a tomato.

“You’re such a d-dork, you know that?” Jimmy asked, giggling a little. Still cradling his face with his hand, he leaned in closer and pressed a gentle kiss to Clyde’s cheek. “You’re _fine,_ okay?”

Clyde just sort of melted, knees bending and vision swimming. “W-wait…just…” He regained just enough of his senses back to push himself forward, their noses nearly touching. “I don’t wanna be a stupid kiss virgin,” he uttered stupidly, unsure what else to say.

“You know that’s m-made up,” Jimmy said, smirking.

“Just kiss me anyway, fucker,” Clyde retorted, pressing their lips together. Jimmy happily obliged, deepening it until neither could breathe. They quickly pulled apart, eyes meeting.

“You taste like v-vomit,” Jimmy sighed, shaking his head.

“Sorry,” Clyde muttered, embarrassed as he looked to the floor. He couldn’t even get kissing right…

Jimmy quickly placed a hand under his chin, tilting his face upward again. “Hey…we’ll just h-have to do it again wh…when you don’t.”

Clyde’s eyes widened, a grin coming back to his face. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Jimmy kissed his cheek once more for good measure before standing upright again. “Let’s head b-back to the car, okay? They’re pr…probably waiting for us.”

He nodded, overwhelmed with feelings. They took arms again as if nothing had happened, walking back out of the crappy bathroom and down the walkway to the car. Paper towels littered the floor of the back seats, having been sprayed down with Token’s overwhelming cologne in an attempt to freshen it up. It was much better than it was, regardless.

“You ready to go?” Token asked, almost relieved to see them. “We got it mostly taken care of.”

Craig and Tweek were already sitting inside, ready to go. It appeared that Token had forced a seating rearrangement, as Craig was now sitting shotgun away from everyone else.

“Yeah, hurry up,” Tweek yelled, “this place is giving me the creeps!”

“I’m ready, I’m ready, chill out,” Clyde said, helping Jimmy into the center seat before taking his crutches into the trunk. He then climbed in beside him, buckling his seatbelt and watching as Token shifted the car back into gear. They rolled out of the parking lot and back towards the freeway, resuming their journey.

Clyde yawned quietly, his head falling towards the glass window again. Despite his accident, he almost felt better than when the trip had started. The sky was completely dark now, the clock on the dashboard reading 10:26 pm. Only 45 minutes until they reached the cabin, and then they’d have the whole weekend to spend together. He watched the cars pass back, silently counting colors again.

Red. Blue. Black. Black. Grey. Black. Yellow.

“Yellow p-punch buggie,” Jimmy muttered, gently tapping him on the arm. Almost immediately, he lowered his head just enough to press a quick kiss to Clyde’s shoulder.

“What, so it’s fine when he does it?” Craig complained, staring out the opposite side’s window, completely unaware.

“Sure is,” Clyde said, heart swelling with joy.

Jimmy could only laugh.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ya'll asked, i delivered. this was supposed to be a one-shot but i'm pissed jimmy doesnt get any smut fics so!!!! again i gotta make my own shit. buckle up buckaroos

The blinking clock on the car’s dash read 11:23 by the time the old Mustang was off the highway and trekking slowly down a gravel road. Little rocks bounced around the underside, waking its passengers from their dazed state. Clyde had returned to his absentminded window staring, a little more at ease despite the cologne soak towels below his feet giving him a headache.

“Fucking finally,” Craig muttered, sitting upright for the first time in nearly an hour. Just beyond the headlights was the shadow of the cabin, surrounded by trees and within walking distance of the lake. “We were supposed to be here like, _forever_ ago.”

“We had a pit stop,” Token grumbled, slowing down further to avoid the uneven gravel damaging the car. “Not your fault though, Clyde,” he added quickly. “You’re fine, dude.”

“Yeah,” Clyde muttered, fingertips absentmindedly running along his jeans before entangling themselves quietly in Jimmy’s grasp, just to make sure he was still _there_. All of the butterflies stirring in his stomach had fluttered away, the charm of their brief moment having faded. It had come and gone so quickly, it was hard to believe their bathroom fling had even happened. Part of him had hoped it was all a dream, but the stains on his pants told him otherwise.

Yes, he’d really kissed Jimmy in a garbage restroom after vomiting and crying everywhere.

 _Yes_ , Jimmy had kissed him back.

The car rolled to a stop and Tweek practically flung himself out the door, squeaking something about the scent before rushing to help Token get Jimmy’s crutches from the trunk.

“You good?” Jimmy asked quietly when just he and Clyde remained, meeting eyes for what felt like the first time since the incident.

“Yeah,” Clyde muttered again, his free thumb slipping from rubbing at his cold cheek to his mouth, biting at the nail. His mother had long scolded him for the habit, but after she was gone, it had only come back in full force. He broke the eye contact, opting to stare at the floor and the oddly splotched paper towels. It was a gross color in the dim light of the moon, somewhat of a mix between puke green and ugly cologne blue. He hated that color. It looked like artificial dish soap.

“Okay,” Jimmy sighed, but it was clear he was unconvinced. The contact between their fingers broke, voices silent once more. When Tweek handed him the crutches he climbed from the car, leaving Clyde to scramble after.

“Here, make yourself useful,” Token said, and suddenly Clyde’s arms were full of sleeping bags and backpacks.

Craig had his own arms full, stepping beside them. “Ya got it all?” he asked, struggling to keep everything up. “I just wanna get inside and go to bed, it’s so fucking cold…”

“It’s not that bad, you’re just a baby,” Token corrected, pulling the keys to the vacation home out of his pocket. “Come on, let’s go in.”

The little group paraded from the car towards the entrance of the cabin, the lights flickering on the squeaky porch sending Tweek to grab at Craig’s arm. The pile of luggage nearly tumbled to the ground in the process, but Craig said nothing of it.

Clyde couldn’t help but wonder if Jimmy would do the same. If he bumped him and nearly dropped the bags, would he shout at him, or would he give him the same sweet little smile playing across Craig’s face? His stomach churned unhappily, but he wasn’t sure if it was leftover carsickness or something else. Either way, he didn’t want to look at Craig’s dumb sappy eyes any longer. Token was opening the door, and he couldn’t wait to get the bags in his arms onto the ground in the safety of their weekend getaway. He pushed his way through into the house before letting them tumble, dropping onto soft carpeted floor.

Someone flicked the light switch, revealing the living area of the gigantic cabin.

“Jeez, you said it was a nice place, but I wasn’t expecting _this_ ,” Craig said, following Clyde’s example and letting everything drop.

“Dude, this was a k…killer idea,” Jimmy muttered, his crutches clacking from the wooden porch onto the carpet. They shut the door behind themselves, just taking it all in.

“There’s three bedrooms upstairs and two bathrooms, so yeah, I think it’ll work just fine,” Token said proudly, grinning. “Plenty of space and that whole entire lake to ourselves in the morning.”

“Token, you’re the best,” Tweek laughed, giving him an awkward pat on the arm before gathering his own belongings from the pile Craig and Clyde had created on the floor. “Uh…me and Craig are gonna go find a room,” he muttered quickly, trying his best to be nonchalant about it and failing miserably.

“Don’t you DARE! If I hear a single _peep_ from in there I’m kicking your ass,” Token scolded, pointing a finger as Tweek went running up the stairs, Craig following with his own bags quickly after. “I’m SERIOUS!” he continued, but his threat fell on deaf ears as a door slammed somewhere upstairs.

“Welp, that leaves the three of us,” Clyde said awkwardly, a nervous giggle escaping his lips. He found himself rocking back and forth, unable to help feeling the pressure as all remaining eyes were on him. The sick feeling in his body would just not _stop._

Token and Jimmy glanced between themselves before looking back at Clyde. “Whatever you’re comfortable with,” Token said. “I mean, the whole thing earlier… it’s okay if you wanna have a room to yourself for a bit or something.”

Jimmy gave Clyde an odd look, almost daring him to respond.

“Um…” Clyde’s nail biting only increased, slurring his words. “Nah, it’s fine, I’ll…J-Jimmy, you wanna…” Fuck. He could feel the blush on his face. “I mean, after I…I wanna go shower real fast, I smell like shit still.” He couldn’t believe he had the audacity to ask to share a room after embarrassing himself so badly.

“Fine by me,” Token said, shrugging as he picked up his things. “Room to myself? Hell yeah.” With a quick smile he disappeared up the stairs, leaving Clyde and Jimmy alone again.

“Picking me, huh?” Jimmy laughed before grabbing his things, again flashing that odd look. “Meet you upstairs.” Just as quickly as they’d been left together, Clyde was now completely alone.

“Fuck,” he muttered, kicking at his bag before picking it up and slinging it over his shoulder, left to wander up the stairs for himself. Everything should have been fine by now, shouldn’t it? Everything he’d ever wanted was right in front of him, yet he wasn’t grasping it. Not even his moment of hope in a dirty roadside bathroom could kick away years of self-consciousness and anxiety. Even if Jimmy had kissed him, he was still a fat, dumpy piece of garbage. A kiss didn’t mean he loved him. Jimmy kissed people all the time.

That was the cold hard reality of the situation, he decided.

It was a moment of exception, nothing more, nothing less. Weird things happen to people in places like that all the time. This was probably no different. “It’s like a fucking twilight zone or some shit,” he found himself muttering as he found one of the bathrooms, pushing open the door and dropping his backpack to the ground. He wanted out of his vomit pants. He wanted to wash away the shitty feelings, the kisses that had been planted on his lips and to his shoulder. He wanted it gone, he wanted to forget, he wanted to move on with it like Jimmy would inevitably too.

He kicked aside his clothing before hopping into the shower, turning on the water. He didn’t even move out of the way when the freezing spray hit his back and ran down his skin. His head tilted back just enough to let it soak his hair and run down his face until he was satisfied enough with his purge. In his imagination he could see the feeling like little lipstick-shaped smudges running down the drain, away from him and out into the world. Goodbye, goodbye. No more feelings.

Well, that’s what he’d have liked. It wasn’t so easy to make feelings stop. There was no string with scissors or a light switch or something to crumble between your fingers. It just continued on how it pleased.

Clyde finally turned off the water, stepping out and grabbing a towel from the rack in front of him. Pale skin went from wet to dry before clothed in a loose T-shirt and fresh boxers from his backpack. He took a moment to grip at the obnoxiously tiny-and-minimalistic sink and stare into the mirror, watching water droplets run from his temple down the bridge of his nose. He didn’t know what was going to be waiting for him in that bedroom, but whatever it was, he hoped it would be over quickly. If Jimmy just rolled over and said ‘goodnight’ and left it at that forever and ever, Clyde would be fine with that.

He’d have to be fine with that.

“This was an _exception_ ,” he scolded the ugly boy in the mirror, biting at his lip. “Don’t you go feeling like it’s gonna happen again.” He nodded, and the reflection nodded back in unison. “Glad you understand.”

He picked back up the backpack and wandered out of the bathroom, steam wafting out into the hallway behind him. There was one bedroom door just barely open. He could only assume it was waiting for him. With a shaking breath he dragged his feet against the carpet, nudging it open to find Jimmy sitting on the bed, shirt cast on the floor.

“Oh, s-sorry,” Clyde muttered, trying his best not to turn around and run in embarrassment nor stare too long at the gorgeous being in front of him. Instead he forced his eyes downcast, chewed fingernails gripping the metal door handle a bit too tight. “I can…I can just go out until you’re--”

“Clyde.” The firm voice brought his rambling to a stop, eyes darting upward again. There wasn’t a single trace of unhappiness on Jimmy’s face. “Come on, you’re f-f-fine.”

Clyde let out the air in his lungs, tossing his bag on the floor as he closed the door behind himself. It was a twin bed, and they’d both brought sleeping bags. When they were younger it hadn’t been so much of a big deal, but now? After that encounter? He couldn’t dare ask. Instead he assumed the worst and grabbed for the sleeping bag, tossing it against the ground.

“What the f-fuck are you doing?” Jimmy asked, giving him another look.

“Setting up,” Clyde said softly, trying his best to act like the burning sensation on his cheeks wasn’t from having a nearly nude crush sitting across the room from him.

“Why?”

A pause. Clyde stopped what he was doing, eyes widening a bit in exasperation. _Don’t you dare get your hopes up, not again._ “Because.”

“Clyde.”

Clyde didn’t dare look up at the sound of Jimmy getting off the bed, the sound of crutches clicking closer.

“Clyde.”

“ _Yeah_?” he nearly squeaked, daring to look up.

Jimmy was smiling sympathetically. “S…seriously, you need to calm d-down.” The next thing Clyde knew, Jimmy had him by the arm with the same gentle touch he’d used at the rest stop. He pulled him towards the bed, pushing the sheets aside. “Just lay down. I’m s-serious.”

Clyde couldn’t say no to those soft brown eyes, climbing into the bed and laying his head against the pillow before Jimmy cast his crutches aside, climbing in beside him. He could hear a clock ticking somewhere in the room as they just stared at each other. The room was huge, but the walls were getting smaller and smaller with each deafening tick.

“God, I’m so fucking sorry,” he suddenly muttered, the tears he’d been trying so hard to avoid finally springing to his eyes. “I’m s-so fucking…”

Jimmy said nothing at first, just wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close. “You’ve been acting w-weird all night. What’s w…wrong?”

Clyde just hiccupped pathetically, shaking his head. He didn’t want to admit it. It would just make things more complicated.

“Please?”

He squeezed his eyes shut. “It was just an exception,” he said softly, eyes blank and unfocused as he stared at Jimmy’s shoulder. When had their legs become so tangled? When had they become so close together?

“What was?”

Another sniffle. “The rest stop.”

Jimmy let out a breath, his hold softening. “Why do you t-think th…that?”

Clyde shook his head before letting his cheek press against Jimmy’s chest, unable to help himself. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I don’t deserve someone like you. You just did it because you felt sorry, right? After tonight we’ll just pretend it didn’t happen and I’ll go back to just being me and you can go kiss more girls and…” he trailed off, unsure what else to say on the matter. “I’m not worth your attention.”

“Clyde, I already t-told you, you _are_ worth it.”

There was another of those wonderfully soft kisses against his temple, making Clyde shudder with another pathetic sob. “No,” he responded, wishing he could just disappear. He should have roomed with Token or asked to be alone so he could cry in the comfort of his own company. He didn’t have to confront the situation, but he couldn’t help but _want_ the other boy holding him so close, so tenderly.

“ _Yes,_ ” Jimmy corrected, his thumb wiping away the tears accumulating on Clyde’s cheekbones. “I don’t t-t-think you understand how m-much you mean to me.” There were more soft kisses, this time against the very spots he’d wiped clear. Clyde dared to look him in the eyes again. “Trust me?”

There was not a hint of cruelty in those beautiful pools of brown.

“Okay,” Clyde breathed, letting out another stupid laugh under his breath. He couldn’t help himself as he forced a smile, wiping at his eyes again. “Okay, okay… even if I’m ugly and stupid and gross?”

“You’re none of th…that, but yeah.”

There was a moment of silence. Neither moved.

“I… I could s-show you?” Jimmy suddenly whispered, their noses nearly touching. “I don’t wanna f-freak you out or take this t-too fast, but…”

Clyde’s jaw nearly hit the floor. “Oh my _god_ ,” he breathed. His brain practically blue-screened with the overwhelming implications. “But Token said not a peep,” he muttered stupidly, unable to come up with a better way to mask the fluttering excitement in his chest.

“To Tweek and Craig, not u-us,” Jimmy corrected, laughing softly. “It’s your choice. We don’t h…have to right now. It’s just a s-suggestion. If you don’t take it, I w-won’t be hurt none.”

“God, _yes please_ ,” he nearly begged, the words falling from his mouth. Never in a million years had he ever thought outside of his pathetic wet dreams a scenario like this. His personal reprimand to keep his hopes down was suddenly thrown out the window. “I just never…um…” He was sure Jimmy was already aware by now, but this was entirely new.

“That’s fine,” Jimmy whispered again, this time much closer to his ear. “We can just t-take this slow, yeah? I’ll h…help.” Clyde was suddenly hyper-aware of the hands running slowly against his soft hips, thumbs circling patterns against the bone. “Just tell me if you w-wanna s…stop.”

Clyde let out a shaking breath as he felt Jimmy’s lower half press closer to his, red face hidden in the darkness of the room. “Jesus fuckin’…wow,” he muttered, unable to say anything more at the sensation. There was another peppering of kisses against his face before Jimmy delved against his lips for the second time that night, his movements ever so gentle as a hand slid up Clyde’s shirt, fingers spread against his soft stomach towards his chest.

“I like that you’re soft,” Jimmy said breathlessly, breaking the kiss. His fingertips traced loving patterns against his skin before Clyde grabbed at the hem of his shirt, sitting up just enough to yank it over his head and throw it aside.

“It’s gross,” Clyde corrected stubbornly, but he didn’t pull away from the touch. Now they were both just in their boxers. Part of him wanted to run the other direction and teach himself a lesson in hiding his feelings, but this was too good to let go.

“Nah.” Jimmy pressed another few kisses to the newly exposed skin before smirking again. “Come on, d-don’t be shy. You can touch too, y-you know?”

Clyde let out another stupid squeaking sound, eyes squeezing tight as he could feel the flush in his cheeks go impossibly redder. “Okay,” he said as calmly as he could, extending both hands wide open until they bumped against Jimmy’s chest. He’d always wanted an excuse to feel that strong body, and now he had it. Fingers delicately traced along the defined muscle. He’d always wanted to look like that, but as he lovingly would say, his six-pack was hiding under a protective layer of flab. Jimmy? He was just plain gorgeous. It was _all_ right there.

There was another short burst of kisses between the two of them before Jimmy again pulled back, smiling almost devilishly as his hands slipped lower, his palm against Clyde’s crotch. “Are we g-going all the way?”

Clyde took a shaking breath, his hands pressing more firmly against Jimmy’s chest. “Hell yeah,” he whispered, trying to make it sound as sensual as possible. It hardly came off that way, only making Jimmy giggle before letting the hand slip into the fabric and gently rub against Clyde’s already hard dick. Again, the only thing that came out of his mouth was another “oh wow”, eyes shutting. He was already overwhelmed and Jimmy had only just started.

“You good?”

“Yeah,” Clyde breathed, daring to scoot closer. His own hand went from Jimmy’s chest to his thigh, tracing awkward circles until he took another deep breath and went for it, copying his move and shoving him hand (god he hoped it wasn’t cold or anything, that would just be embarrassing) into his boxers. With the most gentle hold possible, he mimicked his movements until they were mutually getting each other off. Jimmy’s eyes were locked on Clyde, but Clyde couldn’t bring himself to return the favor, letting them wander.

“I should c…clarify,” Jimmy said suddenly, the hand in Clyde’s underwear moving from the front towards his ass, giving a generous squeeze, “how far do you w-want to go?”

Clyde dared the eye contact. “Um…explain?”

“We can keep going like th…this,” Jimmy said, raising an eyebrow. “Or…” The hand squeezed again, dipping lower. “I can prep you and you c-can ride me? It’s the e…easiest way to do it.”

It was hard not to immediately scream _yes, yes I’ve always dreamed about that how did you know that_ , but Clyde kept his cool, biting down hard on his bottom lip to keep anything stupid from pouring out. “Yes,” he finally said, words slow and cautious, “I want that.”

“Me too,” Jimmy said before pulling his hand out of Clyde’s underwear, looking around the room for a moment. “Grab my b-bag for me?”

Clyde didn’t even hesitate as he flung himself off the bed towards where it had been dropped, grabbing it by the strap and dropping it into the bed. It took no time for Jimmy to riffle through it and pull out a little bottle of lube and a condom.

“Why’d you bring that on a _friend trip_?” Clyde asked, surprised.

“Just in case.” Jimmy winked before tossing the bag back off the bed beside his crutches. “This would be p…pretty shitty right n-now if I _didn’t_ have th…them, right?”

“You got me,” Clyde muttered, watching with curiosity has Jimmy clicked open the bottle and spread a bit of the liquid onto his fingers. “So do I just… how do… shit.” His fingers anxiously drummed against his thighs, unsure what to do.

Jimmy just grinned, almost amused by Clyde’s rambling. He shifted the pillows until he was lying comfortably on his back, legs spread leisurely as he tapped a hand against his lap. At some point while Clyde had fetched the bag, he’d taken off his underwear. “Take yours off and g-get up here?”

The room felt spinny in his giddy delight as Clyde quickly pulled off his remaining clothing and tossed it aside, scrambling closer until he was right on top of Jimmy. He rested his hands against the headboard as he shifted just enough to expose his ass, hoping it was enough. “Like that?”

“Perfect,” Jimmy said, shifting slightly under Clyde’s weight before letting the lubed fingers rest against the cleft of his ass, the other hand against his hip. “Tell me if it’s w-weird, ‘kay?”

Clyde nodded as the fingers began to prod gently against him, one attempting to press inside. Sure, he’d done it to himself here and there in the comforts of his quiet house and his phone blaring some weird porno on the bed beside him, but having someone else’s fingers against his skin was a whole new experience. The unpredictability was enough to make him tremble, tilting his hips just a bit more for ease of access as the first finger pressed in.

“Still good?”

“Yeah,” Clyde breathed, letting his eyes drift shut as Jimmy lifted his head just enough to press a kiss against his chest. The finger began to move back and forth, stretching him gently. As sensations wracked his body, Clyde could feel all of the doubt and worry that had plagued him less than an hour before melt away. Unlike before, he didn’t want these kisses and touches to wash away with soap and water. He hoped they’d linger forever.

One finger soon became two, and when Jimmy was satisfied he slowed back down again. “You can b…back out at any time,” he reminded Clyde, letting them slide out and coating them with another layer of lube. “I think y-you’re about ready?”

Again, Clyde nodded, shifting just enough to the side so that Jimmy could see what he was doing as he lubed his now condom-covered dick, giving it a few strokes. The next thing he knew the tip was pressing against him just enough to remind him he needed to meet halfway and lower himself down. This was a two person effort. “Woah,” was all he could say. He was really doing this. He was really, _really doing this_.

“Is that okay?”

“Fuck yes,” Clyde groaned as Jimmy settled in, Clyde seated on his lap now. “So I just… move?”

“Pretty much.” Jimmy’s hands were against Clyde’s waist and Clyde’s hands had shifted against Jimmy’s chest. With enough balance he began to move himself up and down, slowly at first and with more vigor with every passing minute. It was hard to stay quiet between the two of them, but they weren’t about to have Token come busting in the room just to find out that four out of their five friend group were fucking each other that night. Talk about embarrassing.

Clyde didn’t particularly want to think about Craig and Tweek somewhere else in the cabin, though. All he could focus on was the boy below him and the feelings stirring in his stomach the more he moved. Jimmy’s hand was against his dick now, stroking him gently with every bounce. “Am I doing okay?” Clyde suddenly blurted, unable to help his self-conscious thoughts from creeping back to the forefront.

“Amazing,” Jimmy muttered between a few groans, moving his hips against Clyde’s bouncing. “You c-close?”

“Really close,” Clyde corrected, speeding himself up. “You?”

“Yeah. Keep going like th…that.”

It only took a few more bounces for Clyde to suddenly orgasm into Jimmy’s hand, with Jimmy following shortly thereafter. As soon as it was done, Clyde pulled himself out before sloppily flopping back against the bed, breathing heavily. “Jeez, we really just…”

Jimmy laughed, pulling off the used condom and tying it neatly, dropping it to the floor beside his bag. He’d deal with it later. “Yeah, we did.”

There was a pause to catch their breaths before Clyde curled closer again, right back in the position they had started. “I can’t believe we did that.” Just like in the bathroom, the heat of the moment was wearing off, leaving him with more question than he could answer. As his eyes met Jimmy’s, he couldn’t help but wonder what he was to him. Was he just another one night stand, or was it more personal than that? Did he love him?

He didn’t even get a chance to ask before the other boy’s lips were against his, pressing the softest kiss of the night. “I know what you’re th…thinking,” Jimmy whispered, furrowing his brows in sympathy.

“You do?” Embarrassment crept onto his face.

“Yeah. When you start getting in y-your head, you make a weird f…face.” Jimmy let out another low giggle. “I promise, there’s no reason to doubt th…this.”

Clyde nodded. “Then what are we?”

“We can be whatever you w…want us to be.”

Clyde took a deep breath, unreasonably nervous. “Even, like…boyfriends?”

Jimmy only smiled. “I did say w..whatever you want.”

He took another deep breath before his body relaxed, doing his best to push away the thoughts running through his brain. If someone like Jimmy could see the good in him, there was no reason to be so nervous. With another sleepy grin, he felt his eyes beginning to close.

“Then yes,” he said softly, feeling the touch of another kiss against his cheek. “Always yes.”


End file.
